Do you have picky eaters? Kids that won’t touch veggies? Or perhaps, more simply, non-eaters? Sit back and don’t worry. This is how to deal with it.
Myth #1: Mealtime is just going to be stressful and frustrating no matter what I do.
Every night, dinner with your kids leaves you exhausted from the sheer effort of getting your kids to eat (or trying to). You read them books, do somersaults, bang your head against the wall. Not to mention putting up with comments about your lovingly made supper like “Yuck” and “That’s disgusting. I’m not eating that”. What’s a frazzled, food-fatigued mother to do?
Keep Calm and Carry On
The secret to a calm and peaceful dinner is to do nothing. Simply put dinner on the table and enjoy your own food. As a parent, your role is to provide your kids with a healthy, balanced meal; your kids are in charge of deciding how much to eat–and if they eat at all.
When your kids own their own eating, dinner happens in a relaxing and safe environment. Your kids are much more likely to eat what you serve and (gasp) try new foods when they feel zero pressure from you.
A word of caution: if your kids are used to being pressured, they’re going to be suspicious of your new approach. It’ll take time until they’re trusting enough to eat on their own. The important thing is not to stress, and if you can’t help it, fake it ‘til you make it!
Myth #2: I have to make each kid what he likes or no one will eat–even if it means making 3 different suppers.
Macaroni and cheese for this one. Pizza and fries for that one. A hot dog for the third (he’ll sit at the fleishig dining room table). Eggplant parmesan, soup and salad for the adults. Okay, that was four. But who’s counting? As long as everyone gets something they’ll eat. If this sounds like you, you’re probably getting tired of being a short-order cook.
Who Knows One?
I know one! One dinner is what mommy makes. Our kids live up to our expectations. If you expect them to eat only fish sticks, why should they touch your homemade burgers? When you make dinner, make only one balanced meal. Absolutely take your kids’ preferences and eating abilities into account when you plan the meal, but no need to stick to the same three foods. Let your kids choose what they want from the dinner you prepared and eat as much (or as little) as they want. Eat together as a family, with you modeling healthy eating habits. Your kids will surprise you.
Tip: Don’t get discouraged if they don’t try anything the first few times. They’ll get there, minus the pressure.
Myth #3: I need to bribe my kids to get them to eat anything that grows.
When it comes to food, your kids favor the color white. Variety to them means white bread, white potatoes, white bagels, white pizza crust and white pasta. Their favorite fruits are fruit by the foot and fruit loops. The only way you can get in some real fruits and veggies is with good ol’ bribery. So you make deals; every slice of red pepper earns one red jolly rancher. Your darlings have become quite the negotiators. You know it’s not the optimal way, but hey, you’ll take what you can get.
Exposure is Essential
It’s obvious to you that you need to offer your kids fruits and veggies to get them to eat them. What’s not so obvious is you need to keep offering them. Kids may need 15+ exposures to a food before they like it. You may be ready to throw in the towel, but it’s normal for a kid to take that long to get comfortable with something.
Make eating fruits and veggies easy and accessible, but leave the choice of whether or not to eat up to your child. Offer a variety by choosing different colored options and put them out on the table for snacking or with your meals.
Don’t resort to persuasion tactics. Ditch all preconceived notions that your kids don’t like this stuff. And don’t worry about what will happen if they don’t get their “five a day”. Your kids won’t turn into spinach-eating Popeyes overnight but change will happen, slowly but surely.
Myth #4: My kids just don’t eat enough. I’m constantly offering them food and they Just. Don’t. Eat.
Your five-year old is tiny. She’s not even on the charts and she’s still wearing size 2T. You must get her to gain weight or the pediatrician will think you’re not feeding her. But you are. You give her snack, breakfast, snack, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, snack, snack, snack. She just eats one bite of this and two bites of that, nothing substantial.
Good Things Come in Small Packages
That’s what my mother always told me and of course it’s true. If your child is small, chances are that’s the way Hashem made her and that’s the way she’s going to be. It doesn’t matter where your child is on the chart as long as she’s following her growth curve.
If she’s always been in the 95th percentile and drops to the 5th, I’d be concerned. But a child who is consistently in the 5th percentile is completely normal. Growth charts are not a race to the top; they’re simply a way of checking that your child is continuing to grow at a regular pace.
Here’s the truth (and it’s backed up by scientific research) that will banish your fears forever: kids naturally know how much to eat! If not coaxed to eat more or less, your children will intuitively know what their bodies need and will eat the right amount of the right foods. As long as you are offering that variety of healthy options, you can turn worried-mommy-mode off (or at least find something else to worry about)!
How could she possibly be getting enough if she eats like a baby bird? Well, all those bites do add up. We tend to think that broken pieces of chocolate chip cookies have no calories, but (surprise) they do. Researchers have actually added up all those tiny bites and proven that children can and do meet their nutritional needs that way. It’s simply the way kids eat, not a cause for concern.
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